One of my wife’s favorite kitchen appliances is the Instant Pot. She uses it for chicken salad, soups, and all kinds of weekly meals. It has been a faithful little machine in our house.
But a while back, our Instant Pot began to fail.
I tried several fixes, but nothing worked. The problem seemed to be connected to the pressure release valve. It wasn’t functioning correctly, and no matter what I tried, I couldn’t get it right.
Thankfully, the Instant Pot had a safety mechanism that caused it to shut off before this sealed pressure vessel essentially turned into a chicken-loaded bomb and exploded all over our kitchen, scalding my beautiful wife with hot chicken in the process.
After my failed attempts to fix it, we remembered that a family member had one they had bought and never used. Problem solved.
This morning, I was reading Proverbs 20:19:
“A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don’t hang around with chatterers.”
That pressure release valve was designed to let out what had built up inside the Instant Pot.
In a similar way, our mouths often release what has been building up inside of us.
Jesus makes this crystal clear:
“The words you speak come from the heart.”
(Matthew 15:18, NLT)
And again:
“What you say flows from what is in your heart.”
(Luke 6:45, NLT)
When we gossip, it reveals far more about us than we usually want to admit.
I think back to a time in my own life when, frankly, I was being hypocritical and critical toward another church in the area where I formerly served. I was also critical of the pastor of that church.
That church had no real bearing on my life. They weren’t hurting me. They weren’t interfering with our ministry. But I would still find ways to kindly pepper little comments into conversations about what they were doing or not doing.
It probably sounded harmless.
It may have even sounded like concern.
But looking back, I can see it for what it was.
I was gossiping.
And what did that reveal about me?
It revealed insecurity. That church was larger and seemed to be doing better than our church, and that made me feel small.
It revealed that I was finding too much of my worth in external validation instead of resting in my identity as an adopted child of God.
It revealed spiritual immaturity and a need for growth.
It revealed a lack of concern for the unity of Christ’s church.
It revealed a lack of concern for my own integrity.
In other words, my mouth was not just saying something about them.
My mouth was saying something about me.
That is what gossip does.
When we gossip, it often says more about the person speaking than the person being spoken about.
But before we speak, we need to check our motives.
Why am I bringing this up?
What am I hoping to accomplish?
Am I trying to help, or am I trying to hurt?
Am I seeking wisdom, or am I spreading suspicion?
Will this conversation build up, or will it simply tear down?
Am I speaking because love requires it, or because my pride enjoys it?
Proverbs warns us that gossip is dangerous because it does not stay contained. Like pressure released in the wrong way, it can burn people, damage relationships, and make a mess that is hard to clean up.
But Jesus offers us something better than merely trying harder to keep our mouths shut.
He gives us a new heart.
At the cross, Jesus bore the sins of gossipers, slanderers, critics, hypocrites, and insecure people like us. He was falsely accused, unfairly criticized, and cruelly spoken against, yet He did not return evil for evil. He entrusted Himself to the Father.
And by His grace, He can change not only what comes out of our mouths, but what is stored up in our hearts.
So today, don’t just ask, “Did I gossip?”
Ask the deeper question:
“What did my words reveal about my heart?”
And then bring that heart to Jesus.
He is gracious enough to forgive us, patient enough to correct us, and powerful enough to make our words instruments of grace instead of weapons of harm.